Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« on: April 30, 2010, 01:36:11 PM » |
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I just KNEW this topic would have been made, but after searching the word "joke" in the Search function at the top bar, the only topic I found with the word "joke" in it (I used just the regular Search function, barely any specific parameters) I only found the one where "Sudo tells a joke". Hey, I am Sudo! But really, I wanted there to be an actual joke topic. And I wanted to laugh.  So let's hear it! (Or read it!) EDIT: And you can rate the jokes (from 1-100, in percentage, let's say). EDIT II: And DON'T give away the source for your jokes unless you really want to. |
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« Last Edit: April 30, 2010, 01:39:05 PM by Sudonimus »
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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Audioworm
Mossy
Posts: 1993
I'm a brony, deal with it.
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« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2010, 01:37:30 PM » |
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Alrighty:
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #2 on: April 30, 2010, 01:41:45 PM » |
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A 0 looks at an 8 and says, "nice belt".
A 0 looks at an 8 and says, "I had a belt like that but an 20 stole it."
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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Audioworm
Mossy
Posts: 1993
I'm a brony, deal with it.
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« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2010, 01:43:20 PM » |
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Er.....I don't get it.
Anyway...
Q: What do banshees eat for breakfast?
A: Scream of wheat!
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2010, 01:44:58 PM » |
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0 is 0. Okay.
8 looks like a zero except the middle sides are touching each other, like it's got a belt strapped tightly around it.
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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Audioworm
Mossy
Posts: 1993
I'm a brony, deal with it.
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« Reply #5 on: April 30, 2010, 01:46:32 PM » |
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Aah, I get it.
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gummybears123
Mossy
Posts: 5776
Yummy Gummy!
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« Reply #6 on: April 30, 2010, 01:47:04 PM » |
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Oh, my favorite joke of the year so far:
Told by ipwnu:
There is a doctor named Dave who has sexual relations with his patients. One day, after a long day of work, a reassuring voice in his voice says "Dave, Dave, it's okay, you're not the first doctor to have sexual relations with your patients." But shortly afterwards, another voice said to him "Dave, you sick bastard! You're a vet!"
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I made a rap.
It sounds dumb, like reading a map
I really should stop this thing before it goes too far
But I don't really car as long as I stay below the radar
Those big companies won't get me no
I'll get away before the fuzz show
-Most famous rapper of Mossmouth
Kirbylord
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #7 on: April 30, 2010, 01:47:45 PM » |
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I read that. In fact, you told me it yourself. Or began to, before iPwnu started telling the rest.
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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gummybears123
Mossy
Posts: 5776
Yummy Gummy!
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« Reply #8 on: April 30, 2010, 01:49:21 PM » |
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And read Chapter 9 of Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
Funniest chapter ever
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I made a rap.
It sounds dumb, like reading a map
I really should stop this thing before it goes too far
But I don't really car as long as I stay below the radar
Those big companies won't get me no
I'll get away before the fuzz show
-Most famous rapper of Mossmouth
Kirbylord
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Audioworm
Mossy
Posts: 1993
I'm a brony, deal with it.
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« Reply #9 on: April 30, 2010, 01:49:29 PM » |
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Q: Why did the monkey close his banana store?
A: He was tired of all the monkey business.
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #10 on: April 30, 2010, 01:51:00 PM » |
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Quote from a site:
"Today, my grandmother was watching a news story on internet predators. She then proceeded to ask me if i had a MyFace. Laughing pretty hard, i asked her what she meant. She said, "You know, a MyFace. It's one of those social networking sites." Not having the energy to explain to her that there are two different sites, MySpace and Facebook, I just told her i didn't have one. She responded, "Good girl, they're bad for you anyway. When i was your age, i didn't have to worry about rapists hiding in the appliances in my kitchen." My grandma is fantastic"[...]
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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gummybears123
Mossy
Posts: 5776
Yummy Gummy!
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« Reply #11 on: April 30, 2010, 01:53:16 PM » |
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 I laughed at that one |
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I made a rap.
It sounds dumb, like reading a map
I really should stop this thing before it goes too far
But I don't really car as long as I stay below the radar
Those big companies won't get me no
I'll get away before the fuzz show
-Most famous rapper of Mossmouth
Kirbylord
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2010, 02:00:29 PM » |
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'Nother quote:
"Today I saw a sign on the wall at my school that said "please do not move this chair." There was no chair in sight."
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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Audioworm
Mossy
Posts: 1993
I'm a brony, deal with it.
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« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2010, 02:02:03 PM » |
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Aw that reminds me of this one:
There's this school. On one side of a table in the Cafeteria there is a plate of apples with a note placed on it: "Take one only. God is watching."
On the other side of the table, there is a plate of cookies with a note placed by one of the students: "Take all you want! God is watching the apples."
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Sudonimus
Mossy
Posts: 2743
Stop staring.
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« Reply #14 on: April 30, 2010, 02:03:45 PM » |
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 Herd it b4. haha. Oh DANGIT IM UZIN BAD SPELLIGS! HELP PLZ!! PLZ!!!! Really, I'm starting to slack! I think it's because I haven't been on computer that much all week!
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How is there no such thing as non-existence?!
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