"Greedy Greedy Spelunky" - collect all the treasure in the level including the treasure in the walls.
"Bouncy Snake" - jump all the way down a snake pit and land on a snake
"Shoping Spree" - buy everything in the black markets
"Confused" - buy a pickaxe as the tunnel man
"Brick Breaker" - break 10000 bricks

you get a packet of yucky BBQ popcorn and its moldy
I wish for a packet of gold

sound

girl

granted but its so noisy that you get sent to court and sued 60000$ for killing 7 people by the noise
I wish for a fortress

you get a shirt
i insert a pickaxe

granted but the vending machine only gives you cheese popcorn and sultana with grapes not your favourite chips
i wish for a 25871289562197421749 dollars!!

Spelunky

tree

Dear please stop using super white cleanex because I slip when i climb up you and I nearly get killed because of it please stop using it..
from

Fall

ok i stop people cutting your hours.. but they start to cut everything else.. oops...
HELP ZOMBIES ARE IN MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you get a gaint's left, 2nd finger..
I insert a phone

granted but the spells require you to say a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very long word before you can cast it
I wish annoying pigs would envade my house and make me there king

stars